With increasing tensions at work and with greater expectations of lasting romance at home, relationships nowadays are challenging for almost everybody. Acquiring a better understanding of where your mate is coming from will surely make your relationships easier. Increasing tolerance for our differences doesn't imply passive acceptance of a problematic or emotionless relationship. Rather, this healthy adaptation is based on true insight that helps us to understand our mates better and react in ways that are more loving and will inspire the better in them. Without the awareness that we're supposed to be different, men and women are at odds with one another. We commonly get angry or disappointed with the opposite sex, as we have blocked this crucial reality. We expect the opposite sex to be more like ourselves. We want them to “want what we want” and “believe the way we believe”.
We erroneously assume that if our mates love us they'll respond and behave in particular ways—the ways we respond and act when we love somebody. This position sets us up to be frustrated over and over and keeps us from taking the necessary time to communicate lovingly about our differences. Men erroneously expect women to think, communicate, and respond the way men do; women erroneously expect men to feel, communicate, and react the way women do. We have forgotten that men and women are supposed to be dissimilar. As a consequence, our relationships are filled with unneeded friction and conflict. Understandably, recognizing and respecting these departures dramatically reduces confusion once dealing with the opposite sex. Throughout this book, I'll discuss in great detail our differences. Every chapter will bring you fresh and essential insights.
